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Divorce After a Long Marriage in New Jersey: What Changes When the Stakes Are Highest
By Rajeh A. Saadeh, Esq. | The Law Office of Rajeh A. Saadeh, L.L.C. | New Jersey Law | August 4, 2026
If you have been married for twenty years or more and are now considering divorce, you are not navigating the same legal proceeding as someone ending a five-year marriage. The financial stakes are higher, legal issues are more complex, and decisions made in the earliest stages of the case will shape outcomes that affect you for the rest of your life.
What makes a long marriage different in New Jersey is not just the amount of accumulated wealth — it is how the law treats that wealth, and what the law requires of both parties going forward. The duration of the marriage is one of the most significant factors in New Jersey’s equitable distribution and alimony frameworks. A twenty-year marriage triggers different legal presumptions, different alimony standards, and a different analytical framework for dividing decades of intertwined finances than a shorter one does.
This post addresses what actually changes in a New Jersey divorce when the marriage has lasted twenty years or more — the legal thresholds that shift, the financial issues that become more complex, and what both spouses need to understand before a complaint is filed. It is the anchor for our August series, which goes deeper on three of the central financial issues in long marriage divorce: open durational alimony, divorcing a business owner, and dividing retirement assets accumulated over decades.
At The Law Office of Rajeh A. Saadeh, L.L.C., we handle long-marriage divorce proceedings across New Jersey — cases where the financial picture is complex, alimony exposure is significant, and stakes of getting it right are as high as they get.
If you are considering divorce after a long marriage in New Jersey, the decisions you make before filing — about finances, documentation, and legal strategy — are the most consequential of the entire proceeding. Contact The Law Office of Rajeh A. Saadeh, L.L.C., before you take any action.
The Gray Divorce Reality: Who Is Actually Divorcing After Long Marriages
Divorce rates among couples over 50 have increased significantly over the past generation while rates among younger couples have declined. This demographic shift — sometimes called gray divorce — has produced a growing population of people facing divorce after marriages of twenty, twenty-five, or thirty or more years. Many of them stayed in the marriage through child-rearing years and are now confronting the decision as their children leave home. August, when the last child departs for college, is when many of these decisions crystallize.
The financial profile of this client is distinct. Longer marriages typically produce more accumulated wealth — more equity in a home that has appreciated over decades, larger retirement accounts funded over a full career, a business that has grown for twenty years, investment portfolios built through long market cycles. They also produce more financial interdependence — spouses whose careers, finances, and identities are more deeply intertwined than those of younger couples. Disentangling that interdependence is the central challenge of long-marriage divorce, and it requires a legal and financial approach calibrated to the specific complexities that length of marriage creates.
Why long marriages are different: In a short marriage, the financial disputes are often straightforward — who paid the down payment, whose income funded the account. In a long marriage, decades of commingled finances, career sacrifices, business growth, and retirement contributions create a financial picture where almost everything is contested and almost nothing traces cleanly. The law recognizes this — and the legal presumptions that apply at twenty years reflect it directly.
How New Jersey Law Treats Marriage Duration: The Legal Milestones That Matter
New Jersey law does not treat all marriages identically. The duration of the marriage is an explicit factor in both the equitable distribution statute, N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23.1, and the alimony statute, N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(b). As marriages lengthen, specific legal thresholds shift in ways that materially affect both parties’ rights and obligations. Here is what changes at the key milestones.
| 5–9 years | Alimony is possible but typically limited duration Limited duration alimony is standard for shorter marriages. The marital standard of living matters, but the duration of support is constrained. |
| 10-19 years | Alimony duration and amount become more contested As marriage length increases, so does the weight courts give to the dependent spouse’s claim for longer-term support. The marital standard of living becomes a more significant factor. Equitable distribution of retirement assets accumulated over a decade or more becomes a major financial issue. |
| 20+ years | Open durational alimony presumption applies Under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(c), marriages of twenty or more years, open durational alimony — support with no fixed end date — becomes a much more realistic outcome. The marital standard of living, established over decades, anchors both the amount and the duration analysis. Retirement assets are now among the largest items in the marital estate. |
| 25-30+ years | The full weight of long-marriage presumptions applies Marriages of this length often involve the maximum application of the open durational alimony framework, the most complex retirement asset division (multiple accounts, pension plans, survivor benefit elections), and often a business that has grown through the entire marriage. Every financial issue is at peak complexity. The margin for error is at its lowest. |
Alimony After a Long Marriage: The Open Durational Standard and What It Actually Means
Alimony is where long marriage divorce diverges most sharply from shorter-marriage proceedings. Under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(c), a marriage of twenty or more years makes it more likely that a court can grant open durational alimony — formerly called permanent alimony . Open durational alimony has no fixed termination date. It continues until one of the parties dies, the recipient remarries, the payor reaches full Social Security retirement age (which is age 67 for anyone born in or after 1960), or a court modifies or terminates it on a showing of changed circumstances, such as when the recipient cohabits with another person in a relationship tantamount to marriage as defined by N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(n).
Even though open durational alimony is much more likely to be granted for marriages of at least twenty years, it does not mean it is automatic. Courts still apply the fourteen statutory factors under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(b) as well as the other concerns in N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(c), and the outcome depends heavily on the specific facts — the parties’ ages, health, earning capacities, the marital standard of living, the extent to which the dependent spouse’s career was sacrificed or curtailed to support the family, and other practical as well as exceptional circumstances. Notwithstanding the practical presumption in favor of open durational alimony for marriages of at least 20 years, it does not mean that the burden falls on the supporting spouse to justify a departure from support with no set duration, but on the dependent spouse to justify its imposition.
Establishing the Marital Standard of Living
The marital standard of living is the financial baseline for alimony in a long marriage. It is established through detailed lifestyle analysis — documenting housing, travel, dining, private education, household staff, club memberships, charitable giving, discretionary spending over the years preceding the divorce, and even savings. In a twenty-five-year marriage, that analysis can draw on years of financial records.
New Jersey courts have recognized that the marital standard of living in a long, high-income marriage can be substantial, and the dependent spouse is entitled to support that allows them to maintain a lifestyle reasonably comparable to what the marriage established. Lawmakers have equalized that for supporting spouses in N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(c), entitling them to be able to maintain such a lifestyle just as much as dependent spouses. Although it is rarely possible for both spouses to maintain a lifestyle reasonably comparable to the one enjoyed during the marriage, in cases where that standard of living was exceptional, alimony obligations in long marriages can be correspondingly significant.
The Retirement Question
The 2014 amendment to N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(j) addressed retirement as a basis for alimony modification in a way that did not clearly exist before. When a supporting spouse reaches full retirement age as defined by Social Security, there is a rebuttable presumption in favor of modification or termination. For clients currently in their fifties or early sixties who are facing or initiating a long-marriage divorce, the retirement provision is a critical planning consideration — how alimony is structured now determines how much leverage exists at the modification stage years later.
A supporting spouse who agrees to a flat monthly alimony figure without addressing retirement, income reduction, or the parties’ respective ages is creating future litigation. Alimony provisions in long-marriage divorces require explicit drafting of the circumstances under which modification will be sought and the framework the original judgment establishes for that analysis.
Open Durational Alimony in New Jersey
Equitable Distribution After Decades of Marriage: What the Law Divides and Why It Is Complicated
Equitable distribution in a long marriage involves the same statutory framework as any New Jersey divorce — N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23.1 and its fifteen factors — but the application of that framework to thirty years of accumulated assets is categorically more complex than applying it to a five-year marriage. Three features of long-marriage asset division generate most of the disputes.
Premarital Assets Commingled Over Decades
A spouse who owned significant assets before a long marriage — a business, an investment account, real estate — has typically commingled those assets with marital funds over the intervening decades in ways that make clean separation very difficult. The premarital asset that was kept in a separate account for the first five years of the marriage but then folded into joint finances for the next twenty presents a tracing challenge that is often insurmountable without forensic accounting. The longer the marriage, the more deeply premarital assets tend to be woven into the marital financial fabric — and the harder it becomes to argue for their separate character.
Appreciation of Separate Property Through Marital Effort
Even separate property that was never commingled can develop a marital component in a long marriage if it appreciated through the efforts of either spouse during the marriage. A business owned before the marriage that grew significantly over twenty years — through the owner’s continued labor, reinvestment of income, or market conditions mixed with active management — presents an active versus passive appreciation analysis that is among the most contested issues in long-marriage divorce litigation. New Jersey courts distinguish between appreciation attributable to market forces (passive, retained as separate) and appreciation attributable to marital effort (active, subject to distribution). Valentino v. Valentino, 309 N.J. Super. 334 (App. Div. 1998); Scavone v. Scavone, 230 N.J. Super. 482 (Ch. Div. 1988), aff’d, 243 N.J. Super. 134 (App. Div. 1990).
The Scale of the Retirement Estate
In a long marriage, retirement assets are typically among the largest items in the marital estate. A couple in their fifties or sixties who have both worked throughout the marriage may have multiple or significant balances in 401(k) accounts, IRAs, pension plans, and deferred compensation arrangements — each requiring its own analysis and, in many cases, its own Qualified Domestic Relations Order (“QDRO”). A couple where one spouse worked while the other did not may have a single large retirement account that represents the primary source of the non-working spouse’s financial security in retirement.
The division of retirement assets in a long marriage often requires actuarial analysis for defined benefit plans, plan-specific QDRO drafting, survivor benefit election decisions, and tax consequence modeling. Getting these decisions wrong — agreeing to a division that creates unintended tax liability or that fails to secure survivor benefits — can cost more than the legal fees to do it correctly.
The Family Business in a Long Marriage Divorce: The Central Financial Dispute
In a significant percentage of long-marriage divorces among clients of means, one or both spouses own a business that was built or grew substantially during the marriage. That business is typically the largest single asset in the marital estate — and the most contested.
The legal framework for dividing a business in a New Jersey divorce is well established. Business interests built or grown during the marriage are marital assets subject to equitable distribution. The contested questions are what the business is worth and how much of that value is distributable. New Jersey courts have long recognized that a professional practice — particularly its enterprise goodwill — constitutes a distributable marital asset. Dugan v. Dugan, 92 N.J. 423 (1983).
The enterprise versus personal goodwill distinction — established and refined in subsequent New Jersey case law — is particularly significant in long-marriage business divorces. A business that has operated for twenty years under the founder’s leadership, with client relationships and referral networks built over that entire period, presents a complex goodwill analysis. Establishing that the majority of value is personal goodwill — tied to the individual owner and therefore not distributable — versus enterprise goodwill — severable from the individual owner, tied to the business, and therefore is distributable — requires the right expert and the right legal argument, and it can dramatically reduce the distributable value of the business.
The double-dipping problem is equally acute in long-marriage cases. A spouse who built a business over twenty years faces the risk that the court will both distribute the business as a marital asset and use the business’s income stream to calculate alimony — effectively requiring payment for the same economic value twice. See Innes v. Innes, 117 N.J. 496 (1990) (assets divided in equitable distribution cannot be “double-dipped” as income when calculating or modifying alimony). Preventing double-dipping requires coordinated expert strategy from the outset: the valuation methodology and the income calculation for alimony must be structured together, not independently.
Before You File: The Pre-Filing Period Is More Consequential in a Long Marriage Than in Any Other
The advice to consult an attorney before filing applies to every divorce. In a long marriage, it is not advice — it is a financial imperative. The pre-filing period is often the best time you have to prepare, document, and strategize without the constraints of active litigation and mandatory disclosure obligations. Once a complaint is filed, both parties are subject to easy entry of court orders that restrict financial transactions, and the strategic options available narrow immediately.
In a long-marriage divorce involving significant assets, the following pre-filing steps are among the most consequential decisions the case will involve:
- Inventory and document separate property claims. If you hold assets that predate the marriage or that were received as gifts or inheritances, gather and preserve the documentation now. Account statements, gift letters, estate documents, and acquisition records that establish the origin of assets are far easier to locate before litigation begins than years into discovery.
- Understand the business’s value before your spouse does. A business owner who retains a preliminary valuation before filing — with specific analysis of the enterprise versus personal goodwill split — enters the proceeding with a significant strategic and informational advantage. A non-owner spouse who retains counsel with forensic accounting resources before filing can begin building the income reconstruction that will anchor both the equitable distribution and alimony analysis.
- Do not make financial moves without counsel. Transferring assets, restructuring business ownership, or drawing down accounts in anticipation of divorce — without legal advice — creates dissipation exposure and credibility problems that are costly and sometimes impossible to undo. In a long marriage with significant assets, the financial decisions made in the weeks before filing can define the entire proceeding.
- Think carefully about what you actually need. Long-marriage divorce clients sometimes enter the proceeding with maximalist positions that are emotionally driven rather than financially rational or legally achievable. A client who understands, before filing, what they genuinely need to maintain an enjoyable lifetsyle in retirement — as distinct from what would feel satisfying to take from the other party — settles faster, spends less, and achieves better outcomes.
The Law Office of Rajeh A. Saadeh, L.L.C., handles long-marriage divorce proceedings across New Jersey — including open durational alimony disputes, business valuation litigation, retirement asset division, and the full range of complex financial issues that arise in marriages of twenty years or more. Contact our office at 908-864-7884 before you file.
Thinking About Divorce This Summer? What to Know Before You File
Frequently Asked Questions: Divorce After a Long Marriage in New Jersey
Does New Jersey treat a 20-year marriage differently than a shorter one for divorce purposes?
Yes, materially. Even though N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(c) does not say this, many judges and lawyers treat a marriage of twenty or more years as if open durational alimony — support with no fixed end date — as presumptively the correct duration for support. Marriage duration is also an explicit factor in equitable distribution under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23.1, and longer marriages typically result in more weight given to the dependent spouse’s contributions and need. The financial complexity of long marriages — deeper asset commingling, larger retirement estates, more significant business interests — also makes these cases categorically more involved than shorter-marriage proceedings.
What is open durational alimony in New Jersey, and when does it apply?
Open durational alimony is a form of spousal support with no fixed end date, available under N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(b), and generally can be awarded in marriages of twenty or more years per N.J.S.A. 2A:34-23(c) when the court determines alimony is warranted. It replaced what was formerly called permanent alimony before New Jersey lawmakers amended the alimony laws on September 10, 2014. Open durational alimony continues until one of the parties dies, the recipient remarries, the payor reaches full Social Security retirement age, or a court modifies or terminates it on a showing of changed circumstances, such as when the recipient cohabits with another person in a relationship tantamount to marriage.
How is a business divided in a long-marriage New Jersey divorce?
The marital portion of the business — the value built or grown during the marriage — is subject to equitable distribution. The central disputes are valuation methodology and the enterprise versus personal goodwill distinction. Under New Jersey case law, personal goodwill attached to the individual owner is not a distributable marital asset. In a long marriage where a business has operated for decades under the founder’s leadership, establishing that the majority of value is personal goodwill can significantly reduce what is subject to distribution, and establishing that the majority of value is enterprise goodwill can significantly increase what is subject to distribution.
How are retirement accounts divided in a long New Jersey marriage?
Retirement assets accumulated during the marriage are marital property subject to equitable distribution, regardless of whose name is on the account. Division requires a Qualified Domestic Relations Order for most employer-sponsored plans. Defined benefit pension plans may require actuarial valuation. In a long marriage, the retirement estate is typically large and involves multiple accounts, plan types, and survivor benefit decisions — each requiring specific legal and financial analysis. Errors in QDRO drafting can result in permanent financial loss.
Can I protect the business I built during our long marriage from equitable distribution?
Partially, potentially. The enterprise versus personal goodwill distinction is the most powerful tool available to a business owner in a long-marriage New Jersey divorce. Business value attributable to the owner’s personal skills, relationships, and reputation — rather than to the business as an ongoing enterprise — is not subject to distribution. Establishing that distinction requires the right valuation expert and coordinated legal strategy. The portion of business value that reflects genuine enterprise goodwill built during the marriage is generally distributable.
How long does a long-marriage divorce take in New Jersey?
Long-marriage divorces can take 12 to 36 months when contested, usually because the financial issues are more complex. Business valuation, forensic accounting, retirement actuarial analysis, and the alimony standard-of-living analysis all require expert work that takes time. Uncontested long-marriage divorces — where the parties have reached full agreement — can be finalized in 3 to 9 months, though reaching that agreement in a complex case often requires months of negotiation before filing.
Should I consult a divorce attorney before telling my spouse I want a divorce?
Yes — particularly in a long marriage with significant assets. The pre-filing period is the time you have the most freedom to prepare, document, and strategize without the constraints of active litigation. Understanding your financial picture, documenting separate property claims, and developing a legal strategy before your spouse retains counsel and before disclosure obligations attach is among the most consequential advantages available to you. A consultation costs far less than the strategic disadvantage of starting from behind.
Contact The Law Office of Rajeh A. Saadeh, L.L.C., About Your Long-Marriage Divorce
A long marriage represents decades of shared financial life. Ending it requires a level of legal and financial sophistication that the length and complexity of that history demands. The alimony exposure, business interests, retirement assets, and decades of intertwined finances do not resolve themselves through standard procedures — they require careful, experienced analysis and, when necessary, aggressive litigation.
The Law Office of Rajeh A. Saadeh, L.L.C., gives clients the direct, thorough, and skilled representation that high-stakes matters require. Our August series goes deeper on the three financial issues that define long-marriage divorce in New Jersey: open durational alimony, divorcing a business owner, and dividing retirement assets. Each post addresses its subject in the depth it deserves.
We represent clients across New Jersey — including Somerset County, Middlesex County, Morris County, Hunterdon County, and Monmouth County — in long-marriage divorce proceedings, contested alimony litigation, business valuation disputes, and retirement asset division.
